I was chatting with this hot daddy bear who’ll be at Lazy Bear Weekend, and we’ve been chatting online since around IBR about the possibility of playing sometime. He asked me my hiv status, and I replied that I am HIV-negative as of my last test a few weeks ago.
The next thing out of his “mouth” is “I’m gonna BB-fuck your ass, boy.”
“Um, no you aren’t,” I replied.
“Oh, sorry, I thought you were into that.”
“That requires a considerable amount of trust, and not something I would do casually. I’ll have magnums available, though, Sir.”
“Well, if we don’t fuck, at least I can fuck your face.”
Now, this whole conversation was quite a turn-off to me. It wasn’t the bareback fucking thing that turned me off so much as the casual way in which he assumed that because we are both HIV-negative (so he claims) that it’s alright to take greater risks. Now, I am not perfect, and have made mistakes, but I strive to stay safe when I have sex as much as is possible.
Believe me, I understand the allure quite well. I lived through the 1980s never once using a condom for anal sex. Heck, I didn’t really start using condoms for it until the mid-90s when I moved back to California. Some people look at condoms as a breakdown of trust between people, but I think it’s possible to look at it as a show of trust and respect. And more importantly, it’s about self-trust and self-respect.
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