Tawdry Talk

It’s funny how those four words can provoke such a happy response in me. I suppose it’s because of who said them. Darwin is going to be picking me up at the Sacramento Valley Station, and I can’t wait to give him his gift, as well as see my mom at the skilled nursing facility where she’s recuperating from her hip replacement surgery, and go to do some work on the satellite receivers at KTBV-CA. About the only thing I’m not going to be doing is going to TFO this time, as Trash Til Dawn is my least favorite show - I’m just not a big all-nighter anymore, and really, this will be the first chance I’ve had to spend the night with Darwin… hmm, stay the night with 300 moviegoers or with the ultra-hot and sexy Darwin? Decisions, decisions.

Another shot on the Capitol Corridor from two weekends ago.

Sometimes I forget how much I love the golden hills of California… I took this pic on the train ride to Sacramento through the Suisun Bay’s wetlands.

Today at school was the MFT class, Pelvis 2. The second class on the topic of the pelvis in our 5 classes in MFT for this semester. Before class started, I asked the instructor if I could be the demonstration client, and she agreed. I found my practice partner for the day, and class started.

First up, our instructor reviewed with us on palpating the Iliopsoas. Combined of two muscles, the iliacus and the psoas major, the iliopsoas is the prime mover of hip flexion, that is, bringing the thigh up toward the torso. The iliacus is somewhat difficult to access, as it lies in the iliac fossa, the inner depression of the ilium, or the big “wings” part of the pelvis, but is much easier to access than the ultra-deep psoas major, which lies just anterior to the lumbar spine. It actually attaches to the anterior surface of the lumbar verterbrae, and lies behind the intestines and other organs of the abdominal cavity. To access the psoas major (and in about 40% of the population, the psoas minor), it is necessary to push the organs out of the way and slowly sink soft hands down to the muscle. These two muscles are responsible for a large amount of low-back pain, and working them can bring a tremendous amount of relief.

So, there I was on my back on the table, knees bent, while our instructor had her hands in my guts. The iliacus was easy for her to get to, and the psoas was, too, but what no one expected was the LOUD emotional outburst that escaped my lips. A loud, wordless cry came out, and I started breathing really fast. Thank goodness she didn’t just pull out when that happened, but stayed connected and present with me until I could control my breathing again, then she had me “push” her out with a deep inhalation.

I’m still not sure what happened, but I feel no pain in my lower back anymore, and have felt solemn, but light hearted since this afternoon. That was one of the most intense bodywork experiences I’ve had as the client before. Intense only barely begins to describe what happened. It’s like she reached in and pulled a cork out of a dyke in my heart, and let all the cruddy stuff drain out.

I was planning on going up to Lazy Bear from 2 August to 7 August, borrowing my sister’s truck, just like last year, but I called her this morning to arrange pick up of the truck, and she told me that the truck got stolen while they were away in Las Vegas! Criminy…

So, I was wondering if anyone knows of anyone who is going up to Guerneville on Wednesday 2 August and returning on Monday 7 August who might be able to take me and my stuff up with them. I’d split gas costs with them, or give them a massage in trade.

Burgundy Velvet polyester shirt and a Silver silk tie. Black wool and silk trousers. Black square toed shoes. Not the most cool outfit to be wearing at an outdoor wedding on one of the hottest days of this summer so far, but damn, I felt like I looked good. Add to that a white satin stole, and I felt positively priestly! Which was a good thing, took considering I was marrying two dear friends yesterday in the very first Cyber-Amish commitment ceremony.

Richard and Trey looked very handsome in their wing-collared tuxedo shirts, utilikilts and steel-toed boots. The assembled guests, about 60 or so, were all elegantly casual, with Richard and Trey’s mothers both in unplanned peacock blue: Martha, Richard’s mom, was in a smart-looking blue pantsuit, and Betty, Trey’s mother, was in a snappy but modest dress. That they were both in the same color was really delightful.

I took my place right at 16:00, and when Martha and the Vandella’s “Heatwave” started, the first flower girl, the daughter of Trey’s best man, came and scattered rose petals along the aisle, then took her seat in the front row next to her mom. Next came Trey and Betty, down the outdoor stairs that lead from Michael’s (pharmbear) upstairs patio down to the backyard. Trey seated Betty then took his place to my left, next to his best man. Sister Jane D’oh of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence came, flinging rose petals everywhere in a most satisfying fashion. Finally, Richard and Martha came up from the “tunnel” from the garage, the breezeway between the sidewalk and the backyard. Richard escorted Martha to her seat, then came to my right. It was time for me to begin.

Deep breath. OK, let’s turn on the radio announcer voice and start the text. It’s always amazing when I do one of these ceremonies how everything else gets largely tuned out except the people marrying and my text. I could see Trey, I could see Richard, and I could see the words I had written for them. It wasn’t until I ask the assembled friends and family for their commitment to support this new marriage that I see them at all, but then I deliberately look out at them to engage them. Finally, Richard and Trey are kissing, and I am introducing them to the congregation as a married couple for the first time, and everyone is really happy and applauding and cheering.

Whew! I can get out of that hot, heavy velvet shirt and tie and get comfy!

Steven’s (kitchenbeard) food was simply amazing, as always. I loved every delightful morsel I tried. Victor’s (bearzbub) DJing was great, and set a wonderful celebratory mood. Tom’s (peppabear) portraits are going to be great, I can tell already.

After the ceremony, and food and champagne and what-not, about 40 of us all walked over to Picardo (at least, I think that was its name) for tapas. I ordered the albóndigas (meatballs in saffron sauce) and japanese eggplant, which by the time they arrived I had sampled so many yummy nibbles that I only ate one of the meatballs, but most of the eggplant, both of which were incredible.

Well, that was enough food, and the celebration was winding down, so I walked back to Michael’s house and retrieved my shirt and tie and folder with the text. Tom and his hubby gave me a ride home, and I was out pretty quickly after my nightly conversation with Darwin. A great close to a great day.

I was chatting with this guy from Atlanta, and we started talking about jockstraps… (more…)

This morning, I spent about 90 minutes of my two hours session dug deep into my client’s shoulders doing MFT on various specific muscles. Deep Transverse Friction (or cross-fiber friction) and Longitudinal Release (in this case, slack-sink-stroke, there are other styles) are done without lubrication, to really allow the pressure to be highly focused on the intended tissue. The result of all that work is that I got about 5 degrees more ROM on one side, and about two degrees more on the other side in shoulder flexion. A small improvement, but noticeable to the client and with less pain than before.

Afterward, we had the commitment ceremony rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. The ceremony is being hosted by a lovely LJer, DJ’d by another, catered by another, photographed by yet another, with me officiating. And of the couple, one is on LJ, and the other used to be. I’m amazed by the incredible array of talent that surrounds me here on LJ.

Now, I’m editing my text just a bit, tightening it up here and there, then sleep. I’m really exhausted and need the sleep.

How does one learn to be less passive-aggressive? Are there some skills one can acquire?

I guess my real question is, how can I be less afraid of rejection, or maybe not less afraid, but how do I deal with my fear better?

Or perhaps I should also ask, how does one find a therapist who can help with this issue when one doesn’t have any health insurance?

I have been playing with contrast lately, and here are some pics I took with my phone’s camera:

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