on the subject of forgiveness

or, mea culpa.

if you have read my journal for any length of time, you know that i am a very open and sharing person. sometimes, perhaps, too open. i try to live as fully in the present as humanly possible, processing my emotions as they happen, if possible, or as soon as can be done. i don’t want to have any regrets at the end of my life, because i do not know when that end may come. god willing, that won’t be for a long, long time.

so, i need to accept my part of the blame in the recent drama between (ed) and (the bishop). last year in march, i went down to ventura to see kip and porter, and i met ed for the first time. i wrote about this here. what i didn’t mention in that post was that the four of us had a cuddle-nap together in kip and porter’s big bed. ed and i had had a very brief moment of sexplay, which i ended. i want no one to be hurt by this, but the reason i ended it is because i did not enjoy what he was doing to me. now, your mileage may vary.

when i next saw the bishop, i told him about what had happened, and i told him something in the off-handed way that gay men sometimes do about my very short encounter with ed, and my opinion of that encounter, which wasn’t very good. i disparaged a particular skill of ed’s.

it was a very “sex and the city” moment. there was no malice behind the comment, just some “guy talk” between two friends.

well, the bishop used that knowledge in a lj post. i never asked him to keep it a secret, so i don’t feel like he betrayed my confidence, and i did tell him last night at services that i felt he went too far in that post.

so, i ask to be forgiven by ed and by anyone else who i may have hurt by this action.

Tagged as: Life in San Francisco