Archive for November, 2003

i was trying to find a recipe for potato pancakes that didn’t include egg, since dhpbear is allergic to eggs. i found this recipe that called for using silken tofu instead of eggs as the binding agent, so i thought i would try to use it in my batter for mashed potato and yam pancakes. the first dozen pancakes i made turned out really good, but the later ones i think the pan was too hot for, so they would brown fair too quickly but not be cooked enough inside. sigh.

the turkey hash i made with mushrooms was really good, though. and the homemade applesauce with cabernet had a beautiful color and nice mouth-feel. herman made a simple green salad.

albadger, progbear, dhpbear, bigjohnsf, herman, and myself were the attendees at tonight’s dinner. i didn’t really eat anything, though, except a bowl of the applesauce. i’m going to have to make more of that – it was fabulously yummy.

soggy morning, walking to church in black leather trenchcoat and bowler, umbrella at the ready. letting the slow pace of my steps center my thoughts until no thoughts remain. crossing the threshold of the chapel, completely centered and calm, crossing myself and venerating the icon of St. Gregory the Wonderworker. greeting Father Constantine, and asking for his blessing. changing into the exorasson, the outer cassock, a voluminous black robe with wide sleeves and an amazing billowy grace to its drape.

orthros, the morning prayer service of the orthodox church. singing the psalms, praise him with the psaltery and harp, with stringed instruments and organs, let everything that has breath praise the lord.

the divine liturgy of st. john chrysostom, an ancient form, but not the most ancient. its power to draw one into contemplation and worship is potent, and the congregation is very calm and introspective.

today starts of the fast of the Nativity. no meat, oil, dairy, alcohol until January 6 (December 25 on the Old Calendar), except for Feast days, when some wine and fish is allowed. at least, i think that’s what it is. i’ll have to ask the Bishop to know for sure.

walking home, having partaken in monastery beans, rice and a cucumber and tomato salad for breakfast. umbrella sees its duty.

urso, dhpbear, and tardis are walking to Tandoori Grill around the corner for Indian buffet brunch. we stop and exchange greetings. i climb the stairs, unlock the door, go upstairs again to my cozy bedroom, where the goose down comforts me with its feathery embrace.

ah, the turkey stock is bagged up and put into the freezer – and the remnants of the carcass are history. let us all give a moment to remember the sacrifice that those scrumptious birds gave to us, and to thank them for it.

or, let’s just have another turkey sandwich.

dinner with darkphuque, quirkypandacub, urso, that_dang_otter, and ted was fun and stimulating. for some reason, iberianbear didn’t make it, the food was really good, and the conversation lively.

later, bigjohnsf and i went down to the lone star, where i chatted with a few nice guys, and got kissed by a cute cub. i walked back and forth between the LS and the eagle a couple of times, scoping out their respective scenes, before deciding to walk home. i need to get the hang of being out and about in san francisco again.

this morning, i woke up with a headache from having slept in a bad position, i think. sigh.

i’m just going to come clean. for a good chunk of this summer, i was regularly sharing my bed and non-bed space-time with denbear. he’s one of the most amazing fellows i’ve ever met: handsome, intelligent, charming, witty, tactile, furry, and sweetly compelling.

lesson: don’t date guys in the closet; don’t sleep with them; don’t give amazing blowjobs to them; don’t introduce them to your friends, only to find out that they went to school with your best friend’s wife. yes, i know i already learned this lesson earlier this year, but i hate censoring myself, and this journal is for me, not for anyone else. i no longer feel bound to not mention him in my journal in a romantic way, because he has acted shamefully toward me, and is no longer worthy of such confidence. i don’t know what he has been telling people about me, and i don’t really care, but i’m just going to be myself in my journal.

the closet – never again! come out, come out, wherever you are!

so, it looks like urso, albadger, dhpbear, bigjohnsf, and i are heading on to the lonestar. al and urso have just left for there, but the rest of us are trying to overcome the L-tryptophan sluggishness, so maybe we will be there, and maybe we won’t…

well, dinner is over. we had a turkey that bigjohnsf and i prepared, but i carved. it was moist and tender and yummy. i stir-fried some shredded brussel sprouts and leeks in butter and oil. john made mashed turnips, and the stuffing, which was dark and light rye bread sage stuffing. we steamed some brocolli and carrots, and john and i together made candied sweet potatoes. i had albadger and urso peel and slice the potatoes for mashed potatoes.

i made a mincemeat pie, and was going to make lemon meringue but bailed on that when i sat back and realized how much food we already had. i’ll make that later on in the season. i also didn’t make the cauliflower and green beans.

herman made mole and will finish it with the leftover turkey tomorrow or saturday.

i’m basking in the afterglow of a good day in the kitchen, thankful to be where i am right now. i appreciate the kindness my friends have shown me in letting me come back. to all of you who have been there for my ups and downs, i am grateful for your support. i think san francisco is going to be good for me.

i especially want to thank stagemanager for his extraordinary generosity and kindness. he is the good samaritan, and without him, i would probably be on the streets right now.

i send you all my love and fond hopes for you all to find thankfulness and joy, and to pray for peace in the world.

my mincemeat pie is done, and it smells so heavenly and rich and complex. bigjohnsf is peeling the sweet potatoes, and urso and dhpbear are idling on the couch. it feels just like thanksgivings here of old, when john-john and i would cook. alas, john-john is gone from the family now. but he and john moved on – their relationship had run its course.

i woke up, checked my email, then went on to the kitchen, to make my lemon meringue and mincemeat pies. be back later.

the things people choose to eat. one man eats a bowl of cottage cheese with cocktail sauce. i was craving cottage cheese. the leftover cocktail sauce needed to be eaten. of course, one can put just about anything in cottage cheese and it’s still yummy. i’m thinking i might try peanut sauce in cottage cheese, or maybe some pa nang curry sauce.

i’ve been wanting cottage cheese for two weeks now, and so when bigjohnsf and i went to the albertson’s over at fulton and masonic to do more thanksgiving shopping, i saw the succulent curds staring at me through their plastic bin, calling out to me.