To Portland

75 miles new to this drive to Portland, Oregon, add the side is just starting to peek above the horizon. The overcast sky create a beautiful mottled vista.  My thoughts are turning to be next 11 days ahead, and I am very excited to be seeking out the next stage of my new life.  

Over the past 18 months, I have fallen in love with the city of Portland. The natural beauty, the friendly people, the interesting, unique culture. 

Also, there is Patrick. For the past six months we have been dated in a long distance relationship, and this will be the first time that we’ve spent more than three or four days together. 

So, I’ll be job hunting and networking, and enjoying continuing to get to know Pat. Wish me luck on all accounts!

Help Me Move to Portland!

PaulSo, I’ve thought a while about doing this, but I decided it might be most helpful to ask people for help in moving to Portland.  My work as a massage therapist is enough to pay for my living expenses here in Sacramento, but saving enough to make a big move has been elusive.

So, I’m asking for your help.  To move as successfully as possible, I have set a budget of $7500 to relocate my household and massage business equipment.  This includes the move itself, a dog-friendly apartment, and a small single-room office space from which I can set up my massage business.

If you can help, please donate today

On Loss and Relief

During the time prior to my father’s death, I spent two years caring for him 24/7, and one year taking him to his doctors’ appointments while my younger sister cared for him.  Now that he’s gone, I find that I have a large chunk of mental energy that has been freed.

Because I started thinking about his death back in 2010 when my ex and I first started caring for him, I felt very calm and collected when he was admitted to the ICU.  It definitely helped me to decide about what direction his care should take.  He and I had had several conversations about what he wanted in his final days that I was able to take the burden off my sisters’ shoulders.  When it seemed that he had come to useful treatment that last day of his life, I decided to switch him to comfort care, and he died peacefully and without suffering the next day.

But now that he is gone, all of that carefully prepared mental structure I built has crumbled around me.  A strange mix of grief and relief has taken over in my mind.  The two feelings seemingly war with each other, and I feel somewhat distraught at feeling relieved.  The relief is not happiness, but it sets off the same kind of response to his death.

I know in my head that these feelings are all normal, so I suppose I shall have to learn to live with them without feeling guilty about feeling relieved.

Thanksgiving 2012

With my father at my younger sister’s for the week, and Nicholas and I no longer together, the urgency to celebrate thanksgiving didn’t seem as strong this year.

So I dined at with my friends, Darwin and Kevin, at Darwin’s home in Greenhaven. The two of them had never met /, but I thought they’d get along we’ll, and they did.

Dinner was a simple affair, with a lasagna and cream cheese or from Darwin, roasted Brussel sprouts from me, and pumpkin pie from Kevin. Altogether a delightful evening.

After dropping Kevin off, I came home to snuggle with my sweet schnauzer, Suki. I am very thankful for the simplicity of the day.